Divorce: Pain And How To Heal

13 May 2015
 Categories: Law, Blog


Separation and divorce from your significant other can be an extremely painful process, and it can sometimes be even more intense when children are involved. When people say their vows, they hope and expect their marriage will last a lifetime. Unfortunately, different circumstances arise that can cause couples to go their separate ways. If you are going through or know someone dealing with a divorce, there are things you can do to begin the healing process.

Don't Run Away From Your Feelings

Divorce is often closely compared to a death: you will most likely go through many different stages of processing what has happened. Anger, sadness, depression, and even denial are all common feelings. Allow yourself to feel whatever you want, and forgive yourself for processing these feelings in your own way. It's normal to have periods where you may want to be left alone, or you really need the company of friends and family. Recognizing your feelings is healthy and can help you get through the ordeal in a realistic way.

Focus On Yourself

Often, the focus after a divorce is on the other person and what they may have done to cause the divorce. Instead, it's important to think about yourself and branch out. Meet new friends, spend time with other loved ones, and find something you truly enjoy doing. Look for new hobbies or groups you can join such as a fitness group or another gathering where you can focus on doing something for yourself. This is also a great way to channel negative energy into something positive. Volunteering can be a great way to change your perspective and make you feel better by helping others.

Stay Away From Negativity

While divorce is often upsetting, it's important to remember that negativity can spread, so try to stay away from those who may be "bad mouthing" your ex. You should also avoid drinking or doing something else that can be harmful to your psyche and health, such as smoking cigarettes or even using drugs. Try to remain as positive as you can and adopt a healthy lifestyle. Get plenty of rest, drink a lot of water, and eat healthy foods to help boost your mood and self-esteem.

Get Help If You Need It

Some people have a more difficult time coping with a divorce than others. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends for advice, support, and a listening ear. If you feel you cannot get back to normal on your own, seek the help of a professional counselor. There are also divorce support groups where you can share your frustrations, joys, and potentially make some new friends along the way.